Not Always Ready

              Not Always Ready

It's not always easy to be who God called you to be. Moreover, it isn't always easy to be ready for the things that come at you in life. In my life, I have shared my share of trials, heartbreaks, and mistakes. Sometimes those things tear me to the ground and leave me lying there. I am no stranger to pain, no stranger to the emptiness that comes at the hours long past dark. If you are going through one of those spots in your life, where it seems the darkness is endless and you can't see a way out, you find no hope... I have been there. I know the pain that comes during those times, the feeling that you are never going to see hope or happiness again.

I haven't always been ready to come out from those points either. That darkness, that loneliness, that absolute void that comes into life, sometimes it's hard to leave. The darkness comes about and it wraps around you, you don't want it to let you go! Yeah, I have been there.

That loneliness and pain, it can be used, sometimes for the betterment of others, but other times we use it, to wallow in it. We want the pity sometimes even without thinking that we do, we want that attention, why is it that the girl next door got attention for her problems but I don't get any for mine? Yes, even I have felt that at the lowest points of my life.

When my depression overwhelms me and I feel like I am screaming for help and no one seems to be coming, I can point out every single person that the people I am around are busy praying for, busy giving attention to, and that darkness cries out that I am forgotten, unlovable, unwanted, they wouldn't care if I just dropped dead. And... Some days, these people may have other things on their minds, they could be dealing with a silent illness, a death in the family, but the depression wants to be recognized and it makes us miserable.

We don't have to feel that way. We have ways we can work that darkness out, we have ways to let out the pain inside, to move the loneliness away. We can get out of this pit. It may always be like this, struggling through one stage or another, but with the right team and the right ideas of how to combat it, we can make a difference. In our lives and in others.

I am struggling through tonight, but tomorrow is another day to try again.

Join me in trying again tomorrow, it may be a better day, it may be a worse day, but it's one more day to give it a chance, to give ourselves a chance. We won't just get better, but we can learn to cope. If you aren't ready, that's okay, we aren't always ready for the next step.

Love,
A.r.
<3 <3 if anyone needs a friend I am always here for you and will support you to the next goal, even if it is just the hope for another hour <3<3